Today, a year from when I have previously brought this page up, I seem to be called to type things out again. Good!
Every time I journal I seem to get ahead of myself. That is to say, I write more slowly than I think, and i still find it very hard to organize what I am thinking anyway. Texting a friend is more productive often because I can speak/text and it seems to allow my thoughts to actually get out.
Enter, typing. Again. So though I have no true long term vision for this blog today, I know now that when I think long term and make that goal, I can then break it down. And if all I want to do is find a good purpose for this blog, all I can do is start. Write. Think. Organize. Get out of my head and onto the blog "paper." Otherwise, it's all stuck and we are stalled. So, if in the next month I want to have 5 posts, then I need to do 1 or 2 a week. So why not start there!
A lot has changed since we moved to atlanta. We have all grown, voluntarily and because we have to, and we've all had growing pains. I'm telling you, we are all really learning more about ourselves, who we are as a family and what our values are. Josh and I are more collaborative than we ever have been, and I'm trying to be brave and do what is right some days, and skip the easy. Life is not easy. So I need to focus on the positive aspects of what it ultimately means to do hard things. Because empowerment and more ease comes as a result of what is hard in this moment. It's the adult version of learning long division or verb conjugation in another language. It's tricky at first. You go slowly. And somehow, it becomes more instinctual. That makes it easier to grow into other parts to learn on the subject, and confidence rises.
I think the ticket is to keep going. And I often don't want to, but only for a few minutes. I honor that feeling, then pick myself up and keep going. Because I keep showing up for my family, and I'm learning to show up for myself too.
