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There's a quote that says a woman's mind it like having thousands of browser windows open in your mind...all the time.

This is me this morning.

I was home with my daughter yesterday due to a cold and after having had a horrible night's sleep. The culprit? Ear infection.

It threw me off. What was it i was going to do today? How much laundry? When do I put things in the crock pot? What what what?

It spilled over into the night. After she went to sleep, I had a big talk with my 7 year old son about making bad choices versus being a bad person. He thought he was bad because he'd taken his sister's new unicorn doll. It was a bad choice, nothing more. I talked with him at length about it and I could also see how stressed and terrified he was about to get read the riot act by both his parents. Man, I was upset because I had looked for this toy for an hour. He'd had it all along. But he is very easy to find compassion for. How BRAVE he was to tell me about it? That he'd done it. That he was to blame. HOW BRAVE. And he came to me. And I forgave him and got the opportunity to tell him that NOTHING he could ever do..ever..would make me not love him.

It was a stressful night.

Then I couldn't go to sleep.

I was up late trying to tune out the day. Then this morning came and though nothing outwardly went wrong, my heart, body, and mind were all completely jumbled. I took my sweet pup on a walk, and it did no good for me whatsoever. That's when I realized I needed to write it out to get it out and take a xanax. Because for anxiety patients like me, we do need the chemical help. I need it so I can practice other things more clearly and with greater purpose.

I have tried 9000 ways of organizing all i have to do every day. Lunches, water bottles, washing uniforms, blogging, email, volunteering at school, when things are due at school, where we are in the laundry, taking the dog out, which night is husband late again?, Trump has done WHAT in the past 5 days? when i think of him my blood pressure immediately goes up and I can actually feel the stress immediately in my heart. A jackass is taking my power, and I can't take it and i am angry about it.

Today I cannot quiet my mind yet. But I write this in hopes that someone understands that this happens to me a lot as it probably happens to you, yet I keep persevering to find peace and organizing.

It's not really working today, but I'm trying. I'm trying.